Busted!
by Maggie LeMay
Summary: ATF AU - A bit of harmless fun with some new software backfires on JD.


Busted!

By Maggie

Own nothing but a love for the boys and a need to play with them.

"…please hit me…"

The high-pitched scream had the agents drawing their weapons.

Someone was in trouble.

The door slammed back open under the force of Buck's boot and three members of Team Seven entered. JD knocked his chair over in his haste to hide the computer screen from his friends.

"Hey fellas." The youngster squeaked. "What's going on?"

Buck holstered his gun, then tried to see what Dunne was hiding. "Everything all right in here, kid?"

The young agent fumbled behind his back and tried to close the open window on his computer screen, but Wilmington was too fast for him. Brow furrowed, the mustached man turned to Larabee.

"Chris, you might want to check this out."

Nathan watched as JD turned several shades of red, fidgeting nervously.

The Team Seven leader leaned close to the monitor and after watching for a few seconds, growled. "JD, care to explain?"

None of the agents who entered the room noticed Vin and Josiah propped in the doorway, holding their sides and laughing silently. Ezra joined the profiler and Tanner, craning his neck to see around the taller men.

"May I inquire as to what the dire emergency I was called to might be, gentlemen?"

Vin nodded toward the group gathered around JD's computer. Squeezing between them, Ezra joined the other agents.

When he was able to get a good view of the computer screen, his mouth dropped open and he exclaimed, "What in the hell?"

JD held his hands out as the others turned to him. "Now guys, let me explain…."

Vin's chuckle interrupted Dunne's speech. "This I gotta hear."

"It's a joke, fellas," JD continued. "Honest. I was just messing around with some new software I got." He looked at the ladies' man. "You believe me, don't you, Buck?"

"Oh, sure." Buck shouted. "I believe it's a joke. Why else would you have the figure who's supposed to be Josiah slathering butter all over himself? Or Chris all rigged up in leather?"

The blond man's eyebrows shot up. "Do what?"

Standish righted the chair that JD had knocked over, and rolling it close to the desk, sat down and poised his fingers over the keyboard.

"Let's just see what young Mister Dunne has created, shall we?"

Ezra clicked a few keys and the soundtrack to JD's program started from the beginning. As the song progressed, each member of the team moved to the center of the screen, outfitted accordingly to the descriptions offered in the lyrics.

First up was Chris, decked out in leather from head to toe, accompanied by the line…

…_.the leather freaks are dressed in all kinds of leather…._

Then came Nathan, a knife in each hand….

…_.the greatest of the sadists and masochists, too…._

When his face appeared onscreen, Ezra clenched his teeth and shot the computer expert a death glare rivaling any that Chris had in his repertoire. The undercover agent's face was atop a body wearing a cheap nylon jacket and a ball cap with the letters FBI emblazoned on them, dancing with a less than reputable person.

…_.The FBI is dancing with the junkies…._

Another growl came from Chris when all six figures on the screen held hands and did a funky little version of the can-can to the instrumental break. And then he went pale when the next image flashed on the screen.

A large, burly figure with Josiah's head affixed to it held a tub of Blue Bonnet margarine in one hand and was smearing it on his chest with the other.

…_.smear my body up with butter…._

Vin was next, a wanted poster clutched in his fist.

…_.necrophiliacs looking for dead ones…._

Six heads whirled toward JD in unison. Vin raised an eyebrow and placed his fingers on the grip of his pistol. Dunne opened and shut his mouth before finally stammering out his answer.

"B…b….bounty hunter." He finally got out. At the questioning looks from his team mates, he went on. "See the wanted poster in his hand? Dead or alive?" Seeing that they weren't going to give an inch, he hung his head and muttered. "It made sense at the time."

And then it was Buck's turn. A long-legged figure with a cheesy mustache pranced across the screen, lighting matches one after the other and tossing them aside.

…_.pyromaniacs striking matches…._

"Pyromaniac?" Wilmington sputtered. "Boy, I'm gonna whup your ass from here to…"

He never finished the threat because Ezra brought to their attention that there seemed to be one member of the team conspicuously absent.

"Never fear, Mr. Dunne." Ezra grinned evilly. "I shall remedy that oversight promptly."

The steady _tap-tap-tap _of the keys jangled the tech's nerves even more. Standish paused in his furious typing, and called to Josiah. The two men conferred for a few minutes, then Sanchez nodded and chuckled. Ezra began to type once more, a determined look on his face. When he finished, he called Buck, Chris and Vin over to view his handiwork.

Buck gave a loud snort of laughter and Vin held his sides as they watched the monitor. Ezra had copy and pasted JD's head atop a figure dressed in a blood red corset and garter belt; complete with fishnet stockings and stiletto boots, Dunne was wielding a huge bullwhip while gyrating to the music.

There was a dull thud as JD hit the floor. Six head turned as one at the noise. Ezra spoke first.

"Should we assist the young gentleman off the floor?"

"Nah, won't hurt 'im ta lay there for a while." Nathan commented as he stepped over the fallen tech to get a better view of the screen.

Laying a hand on Chris' shoulder, Buck kept a straight face as he asked, "Got any matches on ya?"

"Where would he keep 'em?" Vin guffawed. "That hide's tighter on him than it was on the cow."

"Shut up, Tanner."


End file.
